So, Dot’s Holiday’s are over. I took Monday to depressurize and get back into the gym so I apologize for the lack of posts.
I want to talk about something that I see a bit of on Social media, be it Facebook, Fetlife, or other Blogs.
For Dot’s Birthday/Valentine’s Gift I ordered her new day Collar, it is a one of a kind from a lovely etsy Store, a heart-shaped Locket with a Faerie on it, which fits through two loops of Nylon cord. words do not do it justice, and when my little fae Posts a Picture of it, I will reblog it for you to see. Needless to say I was beyond thrilled to have it arrive, and I was nervous/proud and quite frankly slightly worried she wouldn’t like it. However I knew from the Glint in her eye she was quite pleased, and I was beyond Pleased….I can’t stop looking at it around her neck.
I should be honest, this is not Dot’s First day collar from me. However, it is her First Official one, as I now understand 100% what I am committing to and what the collar really means to Both of us.
There-in lies what I want to talk about.
As a D/s Dynamic or even M/s Collars are a Visual representation of COMMITMENT. That commitment can mean many things, from Fidelity to Service, and everything else under the sun. To me, and I am sure to my little fae, it’s not just a fashion accessory. With this collar I am making a pledge to her, and to myself that I will do whatever I can to Protect her, guide her and teach her both to be a better Submissive to me, AND to be the person I see when I look at her. This, to me is just as (if not more) serious than a wedding ring, hand fasting or other item of unification. Her collar is a way to say She is MINE, given of herself willingly and accepted, I will defend, honor and protect her with everything I have, and it should be noted that this is what that collar represents along with my love.
Often I see Collars or chokers or anything of the like simply worn as an accessory or as a bauble that looks good with a certain shirt/pants etc, Teens (and adults) walking around with no idea what it means to those of us in the Lifestyle, or people who self collar themselves…. because it allows them to feel safe…. I do have a small problem with this, because to me, then it is NOT a collar, it is a Choker or piece of jewelry, and the reasons for a collar, and collaring ceremony are simply ignored or lost, it should be a representation of an emotional, mental, and physical bond between two people. Not regarded as a “MUST HAVE” in order to consider yourself a Submissive, even if you are not currently with a Dominant.
“The collar is not uncomfortable. Usually I am not aware it is on me. It is noticeable, of course, when I see my reflection, as, for example, when I wish to adjust it a bit, on my neck, that it may sit more attractively on me. He wishes the lock, for example, to be squarely at the back of my neck. He is clear on that point. It is perhaps the first thing one notes, when one looks upon me, or any girl, whether she is in a collar or not. I think he will keep me in a collar, as he likes me that way. I realize now that I belong in one. I did not always realize that, but I suspected it. Most girls are not collared, but some of us are, particularly those who have been brought here from other places. They expect that we will wear collars. Surely, whether or not a girl wears a collar is the most important thing about her. You see instantly what she is, and you understand how she is to be treated. Too, in the collar, you know what you are to do, and how you are to act. The collar makes things very simple.” – John Norman, Conspirators of Gor (Gorean Saga 31)
Simply put, for my little fae and I, that is what a collar is – The First thing I notice, and I know now how she is to be treated. The collar is secondary to that, but Serves to be a reminder if it all, for both of us. Perhaps if you haven’t, think about what your collar means to you, and Dom’s Do the same, is it an accoutrement? A declaration ? something else ? Do you honor and respect what a Collar signifies in the most raw sense ?
Being down the road in my journey now, I understand what this (not so) simple accessory means, mostly to U/us, but I have a sneaking suspicion there are many out there who don’t, and just as many that do.