Recently My little fae and I have Done something Slightly out of Character for us.
Both of us as I have mentioned are introverts, we are comfortable as a pair, and our little Circle of Cats and kids. However as I mentioned in a previous post, we have ventured out into our local kink community. Munches are a matter of our normal routine…Along with another event of a casual nature. In doing so, we have struck up new friendships and rekindled some old ones with familiar (formerly vanilla) faces. I have had the pleasure of not only becoming friends with these people, but realizing that in addition to our BDSM related interests, we have much more in common.
It is odd (for lack of a better term) how much my life has changed in the last 10 years. In my old life, My weekends were spent out at a bar getting as drunk as possible and awkwardly trying to approach women that were completely out for “fresh meat” no thought to anything other than physicality. In those days I couldn’t accept the fact that I am, in fact a huge geek, wasn’t comfortable in my own body, and could not accept that I was an introvert. Most people I associated with in those days were very self absorbed, angsty, and overall very unhealthy.
Many years later, and with no small amount of thanks to my little fae, I am much more comfortable with all of these parts of my personality and physical appearance. Now a days it is much more trendy to be a geek, with the mainstream propelling things like Lord of the Rings, all of the Marvel movies, other fandoms like Doctor WHO, and interactive video gaming into the limelight. I’ve also become more comfortable in my own skin, and much more body positive….I’m a big man, I stand 5″9 and weigh just under 225 lbs, however thanks to my ongoing Stint with a paleo lifestyle and learning to lift heavy weights I am actually muscled and feel much more physically strong than I ever have. Rather than 35-ish percent bodyfat, I’m closer to the low to mid 20’s. I’ve always also been a hairy man….and I mean hairy like a bear. I used to be embarrassed of this because of the shallow women, and mainstream media I used to listen to, telling me that Real me are hairless, chiseled and perfect. Welp, Fuck that noise, I’m built like a bear, and I’m proud of it.
Since we have joined (ventured?) into our local community Dot and I have had the pleasure of getting to know a couple I will simply refer to by part of their fetlife names, The Captain, and Ayla. We have had the pleasure of having board game nights with this pair…and I don’t mean “party” games like Monopoly and LIFE, I’m talking things like Settlers of Catan and Carcassonne. It’s awesome to be able to share “vanilla” experiences with a pair and if/when something BDSM related slips out, it’s just another part of the conversation. For example, the other night I went from talking with The Captain about his team of tanks on a MMO he plays to discussing their Arsenal of Floggers and other impact play Toys. Even Dot felt comfortable enough to laugh and explain why she was squirming on her chair (her ass got tanned during a play session the night prior).
Enter a Friday night just after a munch. Lets compare to my Fridays from 10 years ago.
Instead of sitting in a bar trying to get shit faced, there I was sitting at a munch with people that accepted me for who I am. 3 hours of sitting, talking, laughing with people of all walks of life, and different kinks. Afterwards we were invited over to The Captain and Ayla’s (who is a Poly couple) to spend some time chatting and playing board games with both of these amazing people AND their Secondaries (I was assured after asking Ayla that secondaries [as in secondary partners] is an appropriate and acceptable term). All in all it was an amazing night.
It has been an amazing and freeing experience to just be comfortable around people in addition to my little fae that are like-minded, open and make me feel comfortable enough that I don’t need to hide ANY aspect of my personality. They have been perfectly happy to become friends with Dot and I, and accept the fact that I am a Sadist, a Geek, A Dom and all of these things make me who I am.
I am very very pleased we have decided to venture out and make Friends in our community, and I cannot wait to foster these relationships, I think overall as Dot and I Grow and continue down our path these people will do nothing but enhance and enrich our experience.
If you haven’t ventured out to meet your local community, why are you waiting ? Jump in, experience this with like-minded people.
Trust me it’s worth it.