I have talked a lot about what being a Dominant means to me, what having the submission of my little fae means to be, and what it means to me to be a sadist. I’d like to talk about another aspect of my “kink Identity” that I feel I’d like to explore…
My name is Syn, and I’m also a Masochist.
I guess Sadomasochist is closer to the truth, I enjoy giving pain (obviously), although it is done with love, I also enjoy receiving pain, in the same fashion. In order for me to enjoy it however, I have to implicitly trust my partner, and I do, if my trust for her is not evident yet, then I would suggest heading back and reading many of my previous posts.
Recently I’ve been thinking about being a dominant and how you can be a masochist as well. So many people think that Dominants MUST never engage in anything that could remotely be considered “subby”. Well what the Fuck does that Rule out ? Sexually and kinky activities is what I’m talking about here. I’ve heard everything from No Pegging, to never thanking or saying you’re welcome to the sub in question. I’ll be honest here….I’ve thought about allowing Dot and I to experiment with it, as a reward, I know she enjoys it and I’ve been Curious about it myself, but there-in lies the Difference, it’s a REWARD that benefits us both.
I want to experiment, I’d like to tell Dot what to do, or as a reward, let -her- Top….She can be a service top if the mood strikes her, and frankly I’d like to see what she can do in that position, I had a mild brush with a form of “subspace” and the experience was something I’d like to try again. With guidelines, and my blessing(?) to allow her to top, it begs one question.
Does that make me less of a dominant ?
I don’t think so honestly, I am secure in the fact that I continue to act in the best interests of Both of us. She wants to serve me, in whatever way possible, and if engaging my sadomasochistic side is what I desire, I know that at the very least, she will try her best to appease that in whatever way possible – she even enjoys some of the other activities as she has told me on numerous occasions.
Even in the vanilla world, more and more guys are experimenting with the male hands free orgasm. Although I don’t have an Aneros I do have a similar device, that I want to use more frequently.
On top of all that, there’s sensation play (Dot has amazing nails), etc etc. As a Sir, being able to take time to enjoy Every sensation I can, as a sir, do not do anything or experience anything you, yourself wouldn’t experience yourself. To me that’s just being a responsible Sir.
So, the question I have for both Dom and Sub alike is:
what do you think ?
I’m looking forward to discussing these things with my little fae at length and getting other input as well.
One Final thought from me – Dominance and Submission isn’t just in the bedroom as far as I’m concerned – I will always protect her, I will always do my best to guide, Cherish and nurture her….and in revealing and discussing this, aren’t I just showing her another way to serve me better ?