You weren’t looking anyway.

For as long as I can remember I’ve been kinky…. or at the very least turned on by kinky things. When I was young maybe 15 or 16, and had Some Idea of what sex was (this is when the internet was commonplace), Myself, 2 high school Friends, and a 3rd guy and his Girl Friend who were in their 20’s went up to a cabin for the long weekend….This was the  first time I ever heard 2 people have sex, ever. I had never seen a porn, so I was surprised when I got turned on just by listening.

This is how I realized I was a voyeur.

I didn’t have a name for it back then, and quite frankly as a 16 year old boy, I was terrified of getting caught listening through the paper thin wall….at one point the girl even said I was probably listening, but she didn’t fucking care….in hindsight it was a mix of thrill, terror and plain old teenage hormones I think.

As I got older my tastes widened and on top of watching and thoroughly enjoying every sort of “hidden cam” type video’s I could find on the internet (minus Urine and Scat….women going to the bathroom aren’t my thing) I watched them all…. and then I found one that blew me away it was a hidden (Read: Staged) cam of a woman being tied down and forced  to have an orgasm. Power, control and Voyeurism… No one did anything to her other than tie her up with a Hitachi, but it was magical to watch, I could almost picture he Boyfriend just off camera watching. I envied this fictional man I thought up….it was Fucking hot.

It’s now one of my favorite “tortures” for my little fae, I tie her down and watch her squirm….if you combine that with orgasm denial and edging some times I can get off without even touching, just sitting there and watching and listening to her whimper and shudder, add in a little begging and the mix of Power, Control and Voyeurism…. Is MINE, and intoxicating.

My little fae asked me once, off-handedly why I like doing that so much and it was difficult to put into words without some thought.

So, here’s the Fruits of a bit of thinking.

Clear as mud ? or did I explain it well enough ? 😉

“I’m convinced we all are voyeurs. It’s part of the detective thing. We want to know secrets and we want to know what goes on behind those windows. And not in a way that we would use to hurt anyone. There’s an entertainment value to it, but at the same time we want to know: What do humans do? Do they do the same things as I do? It’s a gaining of some sort of knowledge, I think.” – David Lynch





2 responses to “You weren’t looking anyway.

  1. I think my husband is cut from the same cloth :-). One of the things I love about this journey is discovering all these wonderful things together. Growing and developing and evolving – it’s amazing.

    Thank you for so candidly sharing your journey with us. I appreciate your wise words, and for that reason, I’m nominating you for a Liebster Award.

    The Aging Sub

    *click on my name to link to the post and directions

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