Clothes Make the Dom…Assuming you can find them.

So, My little fae and I have decided that we’re going to “The Ball”, this is an event held in a larger city 2 hours away from us every 2 months. It’s a lifestyle get together, by their own description it is a large ” fetish cultural event” basically a way for us all to get together and discuss all things kink.


I’m looking forward to going, and I know my little fae is in a way as well….However this event has brought to light a small issue I didn’t even know I had that has carried over from vanilla life.


What the hell am I going to wear and why the hell is it so hard to find men’s clothing ?

The Ball has a strictly enforced fetish dress code….you can go dressed in vanilla clothing but the price for entry would double (A voyeur fee as the call it), I have no problem with this as I want to be able to express my kinks, likes and dislikes through clothing choice. Now Dom’s can and largely do get away with wearing a suit… pretty standard “dom wear”…. for me this is difficult to accept, ANYONE can wear a suit, it’s finding a well tailored one for less than 500$ a pop that’s a problem. I don’t have a 500$ tailored suit. So that’s out for me. The next and likely choice for me would be a Kilt, and I found a nice PVC one for about 60$ U.S. I like kilts, never owned one, but they are most certainly a fetish….My Little Fae goes moist over them, and loves the Idea of me in one. I’m ok with this, but I am not sure for me….I’m different than most in my Dom identity I think, and would like to be able to portray that with my Fetish clothing choice.

Dot Recently Ordered an absolutely gorgeous corset/skirt combo for about 30 bucks online, it’s going to look stunning with her collar, leash and ankle and wrist cuffs. I want something just as spectacular, I want to find something unique to ME, so I started looking online. Finding Male Dom Oriented Fetish wear that won’t force you to mortgage your house, sell a kidney, or donate sperm is hard. Blue Jean cut faux leather pants 150 to 200$, faux leather vest, and button down shirts 100$, Black boots (with thick sole) 95$ and up. Add international shipping onto that and you have a pretty hefty bill.

On top of that, actually FINDING the stuff is difficult at best, I’ve found a few stores online but searching for Gothic clothing, but narrowing it down to something I’d actually wearย  further complicates things. I found some excellent stores in Germany and the UK, but again, international shipping and prices aren’t realistic, and quite a few of those stores specialize in leather family gear, and the like.

I suppose I have some time to search more for what I’d like, it’s just frustrating. So I’ll continue looking, I have a kilt/shirt ensemble picked out, but that is standard fare for A lot of men at the ball, it would be nice if I could find something semi unique to my style, that would do justice to the gorgeous woman I will have on my arm/end of my leash.

Just kinda needed to vent, BUT if anyone has any store/website recommendations please, share in the comments, or even to tell me I worry too much ๐Ÿ˜‰






6 responses to “Clothes Make the Dom…Assuming you can find them.

  1. Not sure how handy you are, but like us finding and paying for items is hard. We never find what we want so we just make most of our stuff. Its cheaper and if we dont like it or it falls apart we can only blame us.

    • If I were Handy in that regard, I’d love to make some of my own clothing…. and it’s a fantastic Idea….Sadly I can’t even Stitch my own clothing. lol…Glad I’m not the only one with the “finding” of Fet-wear online though… it soothes some of the frustration. ๐Ÿ˜€

  2. I think the idea of wearing something to conform to someone else’s rules is… strange, for a dominant. I wear what I like, because I want to wear it. Yes, that includes outfits that normally are more than good enough for such events (leather, suit, etc.), but I would never dream of wearing something just because someone else expects me to (at least, not in private – when talking to customers and Partners in my job, obviously some level of professional clothing is expected, no matter what I think about it *g*). As a treat for my submissive, ok, perhaps, if she was especially good… If I had to wear something that feels like a “costume” to me for a party, I wouldn’t go (or pay the higher price). I prefer to be me instead of to conform.

    Personally, I prefer to keep it simple, biker boots, leather jeans, shirt, waistcoat (leather or otherwise, depending on how obvious I feel), some tools on the belt and a coat, sometimes a hat. Stuff that I like and in which I feel like myself. And yes, that stuff isn’t the cheapest stuff around (for example, 100โ‚ฌ for the jeans, 150โ‚ฌ for the boots, etc.) but real leather is worth it and lasts for a while – especially if you got your submissive to keep it shiny ๐Ÿ˜‰

    To me, it’s neither important to be especially creative – I’m not a model who wants to stand out – nor to wear what other people expect me to. I just want to be myself.

    • I agree with everything you said 100% the issue is, that looking for what I feel would be “me” within the boundaries of the Rules of the event is the hard part…I am a simple Jeans and T-shirt guy most of the time, but I like to dress up on occasion too, and a Suit, while awesome doesn’t really accurately portray my kink identity… it’s kind of why I want to shy away from a kilt for example, as MANY people wear one. I may have to bite the bullet so to speak, and spring for a Good set of leather pants, I do love leather. ๐Ÿ™‚

      I’m just looking to stay within the bounds of the Rules of the Ball, while still being me, and because of that, jeans and t-shirt me, will have to sit this one out. ๐Ÿ˜‰ Thank you very much for the well thought out Input!

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