MaST: Labels and (Possible) Evolutions.

So yesterday we went into the bigger city to the east of us for a MaST meeting. A first for both of us I believe.

I was rather off kilter heading in as I mentioned, but the Topic was something I REALLY wanted to be there for (more on that later). After signing the standard meeting NDA (regarding disclosing personal information) we had a few minutes to introduce ourselves and get comfortable. It was nice to finally put some faces to fetlife names, and meet some brand new to me people. I was marginally surprised that Dot and I were the only Dom/Sub Identified couple, however I got to meet and interact with a DD/lg, and M/s Dynamic and see them in action (kind of). I make it sound like a bit of a wildlife preserve walk about, but honestly as I have mentioned here in our City I am the only declared and active male Dominant, so seeing these different types of D/s dynamics in person was eye opening to me.  That said, all of the particular dynamics were also essentially very familiar in a comfortable way.

The Topic itself was awesome, “Labels and the boxes they create” basically analyzing the given titles (Master, Dominant, Daddy, Slave, Sub, Little, etc) and the things they encompass, along with negative connotations or stereotypes associated with them. Hearing the discussion both from people of the chosen dynamic, and those of people who have been closer to them than I have was great. For the most part my idea of the labels was pretty spot on to what most of the people were discussing. I did however learn a lot on top of it, and it got both my little fae and I thinking about a great many things.  (Again, more on that later)

After the meeting was over we had the pleasure of Grabbing Dinner with a M/s couple we connected (we think) very deeply with, as well as 2/3rds of a house who are mutual friends with two of our closest friends in our local city. We ended up eating and talking, and eventually getting the equivalent of “you ain’t gotta go home, but you gotta get the fuck outta here”, we could have sat and talked with these people for HOURS more.

So, on the Drive home My little fae and I got to talking.

We both agreed that MaST is by far one of the most positive and game changing experiences we’ve had as a couple, and we plan to make it as regular of an occurrence as we can. On that particular point of conversation something huge came out from the shadows and we had it consume at least 2/3rds of the ride home as conversation.

Because of the topic of the MaST meeting and what we felt to be an immediate connection with the M/s couple in attendance, we got to thinking, what is the difference between U/us as a D/s dynamic, and an M/s dynamic ? My little fae and I have always considered ourselves to be closer to an M/s dynamic, but said “the reason we do not consider ourselves M/s is because she enjoys certain liberties that she does not feel comfortable giving up, and I would not feel comfortable accepting taking from her.” In discussing this, I said this at the MaST meeting, and it was met (from all 3 masters, and the 2 slaves in attendance) with “what liberties are those that differentiates what you have and what we have?”. Truth be told, that one question from them  was meant to simply further the discussion and help others understand. However, when pressed with the question, neither of us could come up with the liberties in question.

I could tell this was bothering my little fae on the ride home, So I let her mull it over for a while in between discussing how thrilled we were with the night.

Dot is a fiercely independent woman, I am her Dominant, however outside of our relationship she is submissive to no one at all. We eventually got onto this topic and how it relates to our belief that we are closer to M/s… So I did what any good Sir would do, I made her really think about it. I played devils advocate to everything she brought up as to why she doesn’t identify as a slave. She is under the impression that because her other submissive title changes were accompanied by a change of need/submissive traits an evolution to an M/s dynamic must have that too.

I should be clear, I by no means was/am trying to push us to declare an M/s dynamic or change of title, my intention was to get her thinking about what scares her about change, an evolution, and why she so adamantly opposes it. In order to foster this, I’ve given her a writing task, along with a task to reach out and ask questions of the slaves and other s-types at our next MaST meeting. I want her to understand and accept that not all change has to really be change, some times it is a natural evolution that can happen faster than we expect.

I do see my little fae and I as a Master/slave dynamic and have for a while, to me nothing has to change. It was glaringly obvious to me when we spoke with just about every one at MaST. That said, I under no Circumstances think anyone in my community or otherwise would have to address me with that honorific, being a master of something takes time, investment and respect. I am on my way to becoming a Master in title but a long way from being one in honorific. I am Syn, I am a D-type personality – I Identify myself as a Dominant, but truly see my little fae and I as Master/slave, but that step in change of dynamic title will be taken as we do everything – Together, and when we are both comfortable with it.

I am sure I will have more, after I read the collective thoughts of my little fae on the subject, but until then:

 

Regards,

 

Syn.

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9 responses to “MaST: Labels and (Possible) Evolutions.

    • I would agree wholeheartedly just from first impressions alone, and I look forward to going as many times as we can. I felt very welcomed, and at ease from the get go. The conversation topic led to a lot of knowledge being passed around.

  1. Thank you for this post and to Vile for the repost. I enjoyed reading it and also your previous post on preparing to go to the MaST meeting. You have encouraged me to search for and find our local MaST. My sub darling and I are planning to attend a function tomorrow night. I am also a little nervous since I am very new to the lifestyle and like you live in a small community. We will be driving about an hour to our “big city” for the meeting. I am looking forward to meeting other D/s couples and learning about their lifestyles and dynamics.

    MDS

    • You are Most welcome and I am glad that my experiences and sharing them have encouraged you to take that step….I cannot stress how fantastic being part of a local (or semi local) community is, the knowledge gained alone is well worth it. As for MaST, even 2.5 days after the fact, we are still processing the sheer volume of information we gained… I am fully on board and a Huge advocate of it for ALL D/s dynamics and experience levels! Please, let me know how your MaST experience goes, and Best of luck!

  2. Mr Syn- let me give a shout out to Mr Vile for reblogging and leading me here… Thank you Vile!

    My Mynx and I have had similar conversations regarding “what liberties she would be giving up.” For me, I actually need a bit of her independence as I am away from home too much with work. However, for Mynx, she echoes the thoughts of your miss Fae in that she is afraid of loosing her identity as a woman and a mother. I believe and have said that it would only serve to make her more of both and a great example to our children (whom I think are on to our wīley ways) and the potential lives they may lead. I suppose the bottom line answer may lie in the fact that an M/s dynamic entails a higher degree of commitment, which you’re right about as it relates to evolution or evolving in your given roles. I suppose the other entails a higher degree of trust which also is a byproduct of how we evolve within our relationships. We moved our D/s out of the bedroom more than a year ago and we are still getting comfortable in our own skins. I agree with you too- I am no Master at this dynamic and couldn’t be considered one, I really abhor titles anyway. It took me a while to get comfortable with “sir” but master just seems so far off.

    I guess I would say that neither of us is quite ready for M/s, and not that we wouldn’t conceivably get there one day anyway through our evolving lifestyle, but truly, we are oh-so-very-comfortable with our D/s… Simply, I cannot imagine life without it…

    Great post Sir…

    -Mynx’s Sir (Tom Wolf)

  3. Thank you very Much for taking the time to read Mr. Wolf. I’m happy to see that you can identify with what I wrote… it does bear a lot of thinking, how do we evolve from dynamic to Dynamic, and when, regardless, Glad to have you on board, and thanks again!

  4. Pingback: This is My Life Now. | lucidsyn

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