So yesterday we went into the bigger city to the east of us for a MaST meeting. A first for both of us I believe.
I was rather off kilter heading in as I mentioned, but the Topic was something I REALLY wanted to be there for (more on that later). After signing the standard meeting NDA (regarding disclosing personal information) we had a few minutes to introduce ourselves and get comfortable. It was nice to finally put some faces to fetlife names, and meet some brand new to me people. I was marginally surprised that Dot and I were the only Dom/Sub Identified couple, however I got to meet and interact with a DD/lg, and M/s Dynamic and see them in action (kind of). I make it sound like a bit of a wildlife preserve walk about, but honestly as I have mentioned here in our City I am the only declared and active male Dominant, so seeing these different types of D/s dynamics in person was eye opening to me. That said, all of the particular dynamics were also essentially very familiar in a comfortable way.
The Topic itself was awesome, “Labels and the boxes they create” basically analyzing the given titles (Master, Dominant, Daddy, Slave, Sub, Little, etc) and the things they encompass, along with negative connotations or stereotypes associated with them. Hearing the discussion both from people of the chosen dynamic, and those of people who have been closer to them than I have was great. For the most part my idea of the labels was pretty spot on to what most of the people were discussing. I did however learn a lot on top of it, and it got both my little fae and I thinking about a great many things. (Again, more on that later)
After the meeting was over we had the pleasure of Grabbing Dinner with a M/s couple we connected (we think) very deeply with, as well as 2/3rds of a house who are mutual friends with two of our closest friends in our local city. We ended up eating and talking, and eventually getting the equivalent of “you ain’t gotta go home, but you gotta get the fuck outta here”, we could have sat and talked with these people for HOURS more.
So, on the Drive home My little fae and I got to talking.
We both agreed that MaST is by far one of the most positive and game changing experiences we’ve had as a couple, and we plan to make it as regular of an occurrence as we can. On that particular point of conversation something huge came out from the shadows and we had it consume at least 2/3rds of the ride home as conversation.
Because of the topic of the MaST meeting and what we felt to be an immediate connection with the M/s couple in attendance, we got to thinking, what is the difference between U/us as a D/s dynamic, and an M/s dynamic ? My little fae and I have always considered ourselves to be closer to an M/s dynamic, but said “the reason we do not consider ourselves M/s is because she enjoys certain liberties that she does not feel comfortable giving up, and I would not feel comfortable accepting taking from her.” In discussing this, I said this at the MaST meeting, and it was met (from all 3 masters, and the 2 slaves in attendance) with “what liberties are those that differentiates what you have and what we have?”. Truth be told, that one question from them was meant to simply further the discussion and help others understand. However, when pressed with the question, neither of us could come up with the liberties in question.
I could tell this was bothering my little fae on the ride home, So I let her mull it over for a while in between discussing how thrilled we were with the night.
Dot is a fiercely independent woman, I am her Dominant, however outside of our relationship she is submissive to no one at all. We eventually got onto this topic and how it relates to our belief that we are closer to M/s… So I did what any good Sir would do, I made her really think about it. I played devils advocate to everything she brought up as to why she doesn’t identify as a slave. She is under the impression that because her other submissive title changes were accompanied by a change of need/submissive traits an evolution to an M/s dynamic must have that too.
I should be clear, I by no means was/am trying to push us to declare an M/s dynamic or change of title, my intention was to get her thinking about what scares her about change, an evolution, and why she so adamantly opposes it. In order to foster this, I’ve given her a writing task, along with a task to reach out and ask questions of the slaves and other s-types at our next MaST meeting. I want her to understand and accept that not all change has to really be change, some times it is a natural evolution that can happen faster than we expect.
I do see my little fae and I as a Master/slave dynamic and have for a while, to me nothing has to change. It was glaringly obvious to me when we spoke with just about every one at MaST. That said, I under no Circumstances think anyone in my community or otherwise would have to address me with that honorific, being a master of something takes time, investment and respect. I am on my way to becoming a Master in title but a long way from being one in honorific. I am Syn, I am a D-type personality – I Identify myself as a Dominant, but truly see my little fae and I as Master/slave, but that step in change of dynamic title will be taken as we do everything – Together, and when we are both comfortable with it.
I am sure I will have more, after I read the collective thoughts of my little fae on the subject, but until then: