Romantic Notions – Setting yourself up for failure ?

I notice lately a lot of people  have started to romanticize the lifestyle to a point that really paints an unrealistic picture of  Dominant and submissive alike.

I understand that there are different types of D-types out there, and different styles to go along with it, the Romantic, the disciplinarian, the father figure, the list goes on. Those are not things i have problems with. It’s the legion of “dom’s” and “sub’s” that think every “real” Dominant is a poetry writing, soft handed, self contained Don Juan meets Dothraki Khal, waiting to be unleashed as a scourge on lace panties everywhere.

I’m not a romantic by any means, my post from earlier this week is about the limit for me.  As a Master I set rules, protocol and I expect them to be followed. My little fae is both my slave and my Masochist, Romance for us is the quiet moments we get after the play is done, and we can just be together, touch each other, share a laugh and maybe get some food.

I am a Master who isn’t a student of the fine arts, a sculptor, or a musician. I’m a Master who Plays online games, watches bad B-horror Movies, and bounced in a Biker bar for the better part of a decade.  I don’t profess to know a deeper meaning to TPE or BDSM, I know what I like and I’m fortunate enough to have a slave that likes the same things.  The closest I can fit these “ideals” is telling you a few more things about myself – I love the martial arts, Doctor WHO, I owned a bonsai which lived for 12 years before I moved, I gave up smoking recently however I vape instead, I can pair just about any food with wine thanks to being a trained sommelier, I used to lead a top 50 world raid guild on world of warcraft.

Shatter your preconceived notion of what a D-type MUST  be yet ? I hope so.

I see many new (and some not so new) “participants” in the lifestyle discounting my opinion, or straight out being rude to me when I comment on things, simply because I’m rougher around the edges than most. I like to think that in a high protocol (TPE) situation I could carry myself as well as any of these Poet Laureate dominants that some of these people seem to assume are the be all end all of D-types.

D-types come in all shapes, sizes, backgrounds and personality types, don’t automatically assume that if someone doesn’t fit your over romanticized version of dominance that their opinion or viewpoint is lesser if someone that meets your “ideal” disagrees. Don’t let your loins think for you, use some common sense, and stop thinking your Dominant (or dominant personality) is going to be something that steps out of a historical romance novel. Do research over and above the singular source, get the viewpoint of multiple Dominants, other lifestyle sources and some common fucking sense.

I should point out with a small apology and for others scorn, that I don’t believe that everyone believes this way, but holy christ there’s a lot of 50 shades of grey type motherfuckers that do….

The Reality is this – Yes TPE can be Pretty, life affirming and create a bond that is indescribable , TPE can also be All of these things as well as Raw, brutally honest and capable of showing you every inch of a person’s soul, good or bad.

You have to realize what is and isn’t real to expect of your dominant for any of that to happen though, or you’re going to be sorely disappointed and might never find what you’re looking for.






4 responses to “Romantic Notions – Setting yourself up for failure ?

    • LOL, thank you dievca, I suppose that in and of itself is a form of romance. I’m just less of a flowers and poems sort of Sir.

      If I start writing poetry it would be like the Vogons from Hitchhikers guide to the galaxy….

  1. Pingback: We Don’t D/s. We M/s, Can We Stop Beating the Dead Horse ? | lucidsyn

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