Trust is an odd thing, it takes a long time to build, but can be achieved in small measures with a leap of faith. Some believe Trust is earned, and others still that trust should be given freely until it is time to distrust that person.
In the context of Power exchange and Dominance and submission, (as well as for my purposes speaking from the left side of the slash) I am going to talk about a leap of faith.
**Please intersperse the respective power exchange identifiers with whatever you wish dynamic/gender (or non-gender) wise – for the sake of this writing I will be using Master/slave in a male Master/female slave combination.
In a TPE there are two choices – Either the slave trusts her Master to work for her best interests or she does not. This is not to say she can’t question if the need for clarification is strong, I encourage questions, because everything I do concerning those in my care has a very good reason. If the word of the Master has been agreed upon as final, then arguing further after a definitive statement is Insolent and cause for either discipline, or if grievous enough termination of the relationship.
Now, at the beginning of any TPE, a Master should assume a learning curve and be somewhat lenient. A little more so if the slave is new or inexperienced.
The onus here is on the slave to trust her Master implicitly in that what he does or orders is with her best interests at heart. If the slave wishes to earn some autonomy to make her own choices then showing good judgment in caring for her Masters property (herself and his other belongings) is the best way to do it. Many Masters wish to micromanage to a level of minutia, however many still do not wish to be burdened with choosing two outfits, two meals, or a haircut for he and his slave. I for one, don’t know a goddamn thing about female fashion – So I let my slave dress herself for the most part unless there is a particular outfit I want to see her in. However she EARNED that right through smart and adult choices and measured reactions to situations.
Now the other side of the coin – If mentally the trust is there, then it should extend to all things, including the physicality of S&M play.
Some would argue this is mental as well, and I would agree wholeheartedly – however the slave must trust the Master to know when enough is enough – generally endorphin rush and subspace (slave space) can lead to the slave disregarding her physical limitations and end up taking more pain than is safe to handle. I have been told by many a masochist that the urge to take and take and take can outweigh the need for self preservation. The slave must trust that when the Master says no more, it is because he doesn’t want her to be unable to move, or sit, or function the rest of the week – a bedridden slave due to a severe beating will be unable to perform her duties, or carry out tasks, both special and mundane.
Finally trust leads to consequence.
Consequences for failing to trust ones Master can take many forms – one of which is punishment from her Master as I mentioned earlier.
Then there are the unintended consequences – An example: The slave knows that she can ask for play from another Master (who may be adept at something her Master is not) and as a reward receive permission to do so. So the slave wanders off to have her pussy tortured. Now bear in mind this is all with her Masters say so…. because he felt to reward her. You would also have to understand that should the Master require the use of his slave for sexual gratification, now her pussy is either unusable or painful enough that penetration causes issues, and As such she is unusable by her Master for that purpose for the next few days. (this scenario becomes more evident if it is a slave or submissive who has to safeword due to pain).
Trust in your Sir to know your physical limitations sometimes better than you do, his JOB is to ensure you are healthy (mentally emotionally AND physically), happy and sound. With that said the end game goal is to know how to achieve these things on your own, even if you are uncollard, or unowned – it just helps to have someone there to watch over you and ensure that if you fall of the path to these things you get right back on.
In the end Trust in a Power Exchange is something that At first requires a leap of faith to surrender control, however by constantly trusting your Master more and more great things can be achieved, and massive growth for both partners is possible, along with the relationship.
Just a few things I’ve been rattling in my head, I could clarify more, however for now I just want the thoughts Out there.