I have to admit sometimes it’s difficult for me to reconcile my reality with what my brain is telling me.
My little fae and I have settled into a bit of a routine, Life has been busy lately. Little time to play, but our TPE is still strong.
I love all the time we’ve been getting together, but I do miss playing – I was/am more comfortable with my sadistic side, however in becoming so, I find I miss our sessions…. They seem to only happen when we travel to the other city for events, and even then Co-topping is what usually occurs.
Here is where the disconnect happens.
I’m at a loss for how to make things happen more organically – between work, kids visiting more than periodically, the need for sleep for both of us on off(ish) hours than the other, and the fact that I prefer play to be unplanned, leads to a difficult time making it happen.
Couple all of that, with the issues I’ve had accepting my Sadism in the past and my logical brain is wondering what the fuck is wrong with me.
I don’t know why these words fell out of my head, or what if anything the solution is, however here it is.
I plan to write more, as work now allows for it, but just a quick entry to let you know I’m still alive and moving somewhat.