I find it strange, on the internet there are copious amounts of blogs, writings, essays, and websites devoted to BDSM and being a Master. They talk and debate and educate endlessly on how to manage your slave through discipline, ritual, protocol and routine.
These are all great, and sorely needed resources – knowledge is power and benefitting from (in some cases) years of experience can help shape and solidify anyone’s power exchange.
The one thing in my travels on the internet that I find sorely lacking is the journey to get to the point where you feel you ARE a Master – Everyone says that in order to be a Master to your slave you must first master yourself.
Mastering oneself takes a pile of work, I’ve recently started further down that path, and I’m hoping by writing about it, perhaps I can help shed some light on my process and in turn, help others who may feel as lost as I do.
I recently starting reading a book called Ego is the Enemy, and while I’m not quite ready to tackle the subject of ego – it did get me thinking.
For years As I mentioned in my last post on Healthy Vulnerability and Mastery I’ve been overly prideful, and due to some…. Issues the past week, I’ve really had to take a long look at how I deal with things and go about dealing with said conflict in my daily life.
In the past, my pride would direct me to attack, be the proverbial bull in the china shop. No Compromise, No Quarter. Or, if the situation warranted, as a last resort, I would simply cut out the offensive party(s) and move on with my life. Or the flip side, Apologize profusely for fear of being alone.
I believe the trick with this, is having enough pride to understand your worth and not too much to become arrogant.
So how do I plan to combat this?
Well, I have done a fair bit of reading about pride, and while most of the websites I found are religious in nature, they raise interesting solutions – Service being primary among them. Now in their context they talk about service to the lord, being pagan I’ll have to modify a little bit.
For me, the best way I can serve anyone is sharing knowledge, I am a sponge when it comes to certain topics – computers, vaping, all manner of electronics…. you know that guy who saves you money by fixing your computer for you so you don’t have to take it into the shop? Yeah thats me. I believe knowledge is power, and sharing that power is one of the most important things you can do. This is probably why I do enjoy facilitating MAsT as much as I do with the rest of our facilitators.
Build others up for the sake of building them up – A kind word here, a bit of advice there, teaching a skill, or lending expertise. All of these things don’t cost a penny, except for time, and could mean the world of difference to someone.
Service to one’s community. My little fae and I do volunteer our time to quite a few things in the other city, and support as many events there as possible, locally it’s much more difficult to do so, however we have a plan in place to give back to our local community, whether well received or not, at least we will know we tried.
I know that this is just the start to combating Pride, or at the very least dampening it, it will be a constant struggle for me to continue forward while remaining humble and remembering that service requires you to give of yourself while not expecting in return, or letting it feed ego to the point of it being destructive.
Just some random thoughts.